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  • Alexandra Hillenbrand

You Caught Me

You caught me. I've been avoiding doing things lately. Specifically, this blog. As Ryann told me, "Maybe you need to get out of your cave." My cave qualifies as my room, but even more so, the living room, especially when I need to watch television, which I apparently have needed to do a lot lately. I've been consuming a mass amount of content. I started watching Girls, which hit a little too close to home, then I consecutively watched several period pieces and romantic comedies over the last three days. Sprinkle in three or four job applications, a few menty bs, and a lot of heart palpitations and we got ourselves a productive week.

Happy national girlfriends day to those who celebrate! What a wonderful concept, another day dedicated to couples who already have Valentine's Day and National Boyfriend's Day. Like we get it, you know what love is like! Honestly though, everyone can breathe a sigh of relief; I am nobody's girlfriend. I know that's absolutely awesome and amazing information for all of you. Can we start to manage the line that has formed outside my front door? My family and I deserve privacy too!

Also, Ryann was literally just cutting vegetables for dinner and accidentally sliced off her fingernail. Pretty ironic because she didn't want me to make dinner because she hates when I cook, and now we got 'fingernail salad' on the table. At least it wasn't her finger! Because I'm pretty hungry and I don't feel like having to delay by taking her to the emergency room.

Anyway, I feel mostly heart-palpitatious (new word, don't care) because I have a job interview tomorrow. I really am manifesting that I get it because I don't think I can spend my days on my living room couch anymore. My brain cells are practically melting off into the television and my anxiety of only seeing the same three people every day has gotten to my head. I went on a walk today and I audibly spoke to myself because I was that bored.

I guess despite whether or not tomorrow goes well, I probably shouldn't give up on things that bring me joy just because I'm feeling avoidant. Doesn't that sound very self-aware? I'm very introspective, what can I say I spend every waking minute overthinking everything!

Other things I'm working on. I've been writing a book. At first, I was like I really need this to be the most serious groundbreaking novel ever written and then I was like well why don't I just write about things I enjoy? So obviously it's a slow burn enemies to lovers romance. So if I ever finish that, I'll let you know. But I'm going to finish it. If I don't then why have I been up until 3 am every night working on it. That's probably not helping with the anxiety.

Alright, peace out until I write again. Which will be tomorrow. Because I should be better about writing everyday. So this is me letting you know that is what will be happening. So, see you tomorrow!

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