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  • Alex Hillenbrand

Slump/ I disappointed Ashley Graham once.

I have no idea why, but I've been in kind of a slump lately. I think it started when season 2 of the Bear came out. I got really into it, but would only watch it at night as a part of Revenge Bedtime Procrastination. If you don't know what that is, it's for people who don't take the time to destress during the day and decide to jam pack all of their leisure time into the night hours. So, for insane people. All of a sudden, it was 4 a.m. and I had just finished the anxiety inducing Christmas episode (with a PHENOMENAL cast btw), which invoked a trauma response to family holidays of years passed. I couldn't possibly dream about falling asleep after that, when I was picturing Jamie Lee Curtis as Carmy's mom driving a car into my living room. Although that could be pretty cool, I love Jamie Curtis.

Speaking of celebrities, there was one time at my job as a restaurant Host last summer when I met Ashley Graham. Except, it was around 8:30 pm and I had been at the restaurant since 10 a.m. that morning, which mean I was experiencing mid-shift hypnosis. I was so tired that it felt like my eyelids were making a thudding sound everytime that I blinked. This genuinely stunning woman and her partner walked up to the host stand and told us they had a reservation. Except, at that point we had absolutely no tables open, and none on the brink of turning over. Basically, she was about to have a very long wait. As I'm breaking this news to her, I'm sensing her familiarity, but I'm so disoriented from how long the day has been that I can't place her. I say to her, "are you a model?" Way to keep it subtle!

She goes, "Yes, I am".

I go, "I thought you looked familiar, I've definitely seen a get ready with me of yours on Youtube". I'm saying this to her, all while telling her to wait for her table at the bar that has ZERO seats available at. Her and her husband look at me and ask, "Is this the only bar?" because they're clearly wondering what I'm telling them to do when there's clearly no room available where I'm telling them to go.

It's a painful moment for me because there's nothing I can do except to point to a small sliver of space in the corner right behind me where they can maybe squeeze. I just know that I look like such a fool to them, and I wouldn't blame them if they were like 'are you kidding me? we have a reservation and now it's a 30 minute wait and your telling us to wait somewhere that simply has no space? Are you qualified to work here'. (The answer was no, I was not). They walk off, and I just know I've annoyed them. Still, the situation's out of my hands, so I just have to speak to the next guest and hope a table opens up fast.

As soon as I get a second of free time, I look her up. It's killing me that I can't remember her name. Then, I see it. Ashley Graham. One of the highest paid models in the world. I am about ready to yeet myself into traffic. I'm just thinking about how ridiculous it is that I told ASHLEY GRAHAM that I've seen a get ready with me that she's done. That's when I remember, yeah of course I have see it, BECAUSE IT WAS WITH VOGUE.

Long story short, a table opens up and I seat her about 45 minutes after her reservation was supposed to be. I want to apologize for my lack of social skills, but it doesn't seem appropriate. Still, I can't help myself, I tell her that I love her outfit. She does not compliment me in return. Why would she, I've been sweating in my striped pants and navy shirt all day, not exactly a sight for sore eyes. When I handed her the menu, I knew that I had disappointed her. She never came back to the restaurant again.

Anyway, I guess this tangent is related to my slump because that was a slump-worthy moment. Like, some people might say that they couldn't have waterboarded that information out of them, but I like to share my more embarrassing moments to make myself more relatable. Or at least, to make you feel better about yourself.

I think I'm out of my slump now. Maybe because I finished season 2 of The Bear so I actually have a reason to go to bed at night. Although, I have been caught up in watching Carmy and Sydney ship edits on TikTok, sorry they are addicting. Anyway, moral of the story is that if you're ever feeling off, maybe you should get some sleep. Otherwise, you might end up like me, and become the worst party of Ashley Graham's day.

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