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  • Alex Hillenbrand

Decision Making

I'm super duper bad at making decisions. So terrible in fact that I have taken on my younger sister as my "life coach" so that I can avoid decision making at any cost. You would think having a "life coach" would be contingent upon me actually having a life, but hey, we have to pick our battles. Or in my case, not pick our battles because why would we ever do something for ourselves when the Internet exists. That's how I ended up taking a 30 minute career aptitude test yesterday only to discover that the results cost $33.99. Since I have no net worth, I couldn't afford to figure out what my career should be, and since I have no Internet service to give me my answer, it looks like I am going to be at a permanent standstill in my career search for the time being.

Well, the other day I had to make a decision. My family has been working on this thing with me, I think it's called "growth"? When I whined about whether I should do something or not do it, my mom told me that I should utilize a "pros and cons" list to figure out what I want to do. What I want to do? Why would I ever do that? But my life coach gave me a stern look (she can be really scary). I had no choice but to take out my "Bailey's Counseling Center" pen and go to work.

It turns out I have no idea how a pros and cons list is supposed to work. Or if I do, it's something that's exceptionally hard for me, as in it causes me physical pain. I sat there with my head in my hands, eyebrows scrunched from concentrating so hard, pen gripped so tightly I had lost feeling in my fingers.

"I don't get it," I complained, "are the pros the reasons why I should go and the cons reasons why I want to go". If you read that sentence back you might realize that those are pretty much the same thing.

My mom and Ryann gave me a look that said, 'wow how did this girl survive living on her own without getting stuck in a hole somewhere'. "Are you kidding me?" Ryann asked.

I groaned, "It's no use. I can't make this decision."

My mom put her hand on my shoulder, probably thinking to herself 'I shouldn't have had kids'. Gently she explained, "A pro is the reason 'why', a con is the reason 'why not'."

"Oh," why did this hurt my brain so badly, "I get it...I think."

As a reader you might have many questions, like are you an idiot? NO, I'm at least of average intelligence, thank you for your concern. Really, this just touches back onto my lack of common sense, something I've learned to live with and something that can still baffle even the closest people to me. Like, once I was studying with my friend, Gen, and I had all of our power points with our class notes opened in a preview window because I couldn't get them to open on PowerPoint. Well, as it turns out, and she so graciously helped me discern, I didn't have PowerPoint downloaded. And when I did finally download it, I realized that half of the information had been cut off of the bottom of the slides for a test I had been studying the entire week for. A test that was the next day. It is times like that when I wonder if I'm in some sick Truman Show experience where I'm being observed for my deficits. Somehow, all I could do was laugh.

Anyway back to my pros and cons attempt. Even if I didn't follow the rules of the list, I still made a decision, on my own. I realized that the answer was obvious, and that I knew what to do the entire time. Which meant that maybe I have it within me after all to make my own decisions. Sorry, Ryann, looks like you're out of an all-consuming, zero salary, and terrible job! Does this mean I'm self-employed? Score!

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